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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
First I don't think you are weird. We all have our own ways of being based on our experiences. It does sound like perhaps you don't have a lot of experience getting out there and dealing with people and frankly a lot of the issues might disappear if you got practice with people and you may need to force yourself. I got a lot better when I was forced.
I often try to avoid people. It is probably due to the fact that for most of my life people have NOT been anything but trouble. My boss hasn't had that experience in life so he is an extrovert. He gets excited to see and chat with people. But for me... 99% of conversations are unpleasant so.. I want to avoid that. It isn't weird.. it is just my experience.
For years now I have worked a somewhat public spokesman type of role. So I have a bit of an act that has formed. It is strange that the act is beloved by people and they want to get closer to me.. but I don't want that. And this hurts people's feelings as they feel they are being rejected. I so far.. don't know how to fix this...
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It's strange. When I was a child (around elementary to middle), I was rly annoying and 'outgoing', and a lot of the others didn't wanna be around me. Now I'm just this annoying person who always talks about how much they hate life, and doesn't even know how to conversate or deal with emotions properly. My sisters seemed to turn out fine, but I'm just the odd one. I actually used to follow my younger sister around, and looked up to her to show me how to do things. Idk. I feel like I was just born to not have close relationships with people.
But yeah. I feel like I've only had bad experiences with people as well. I find that when I'm talking to someone, and we get closer, I just get bored and completely forget about them. My supervisor is extroverted as well. But she got so annoyed by me, that she literally won't even look me in the eye anymore or talk to me unless necessary lol. Sometimes I don't understand what I even do anymore.