Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Containment advice.
View Single Post
Old 04-07-2018, 06:39 PM
ASeekerErrant ASeekerErrant is offline
Newly Joined
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: Poland
Posts: 1
ASeekerErrant ASeekerErrant is offline
Newly Joined
ASeekerErrant has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: Poland
Posts: 1

1 yr Member
Default Containment advice.

Hello!
Although we all know how much a self-diagnosis is worth, I've recently come to realise that I'm likely a narcissist, using those around me to satisfy my need for attention, affection and validation, while incapable of doing the same for them. My identity consists of a set of labels I've chosen for myself and react with denial or anger when they are challenged. I lack not only empathy, but even the ability to take interest in something that doesn't involve me.(Like being told a childhood story by a friend, and only feeling anxious because my own childhod was uneventful and I have nothing interesting to respond with, which makes me a boring person.). I get mad at people simply for having different beliefs/values, having trouble accepting their individuality. In conversation, I tend to either boast or self-deprecate to get pity, and the list goes on.

Now, that I've identified the problematic behaviour, I notice many parallels with my eatig habits- a tendency to overindulge, untill I get hurt, then watch myself for a while until the cravings get the better of me and another binge ensues. Based on that observation, I decided that, since I can't be trusted with satisfying my basic needs, I must limit my "intake" to the absolute minimum necessary to function. It worked with food, allowing me to advance from a fat pig to just a pig, so a simillar approach should work with attention, preventing me from doing stupid things and abusing others.
In an attempt to "contain" my exploitative tendencies I distanced myself from everyone I could, and have been doing a decent job of maintaining that isolation for several months now. The problem is, that people, are getting worried and trying to reach out, which is a strong temptation. To make matters worse, I've been getting thoughts that accepting their " help" would be best for me, and that I can be made into a functioning human being, along with brief fantasies of an "intervention". I realise that it's just a way of talking myself into slipping up, but I fear I'll believe my own lies eventually, as it's happened before(though the previous cycle was based on a false belief from the start).
How do I make this "purging" period last? I will be seeing these people regularly for the forseeable future, so drastic masures of chasing them off are out of the question.
Also, how do I know the whole operation isn't just a massive stunt to get them to throw me a pity party? I honestly can't trust myself in the matter of my own motives.

Thank you in advance.
ASeekerErrant is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote