Open Eyes,

Thank you for your insightful and sincerely articulated thoughts. You definitely gave me a different perspective, so I can be more understanding and show less judgement when these scenarios occur.

You are so right; he has no coping mechanisms. He doesn’t know how to address problems maturely, and he avoids situations that are too complex or require emotional engagement.

To your point about childhood socialization, you were also accurate. His parents tried to create this isle of idealism around him where problems didn’t exist and perfection was reality. He was never directly told what to do, yet he learned through reactions and nonverbal cues how to act. In short, act perfect, do as I say, don’t go against the grain or make me look bad and you’ll be the perfect son.

Thanks again. Your words were so timely. I was thinking about separating, but I won’t be so quick to make that decision. I’ll try looking through a new lens. And, to his credit, he has always been open to counseling, so that is another option if we continue to struggle.