There are words that I’m forbidden to write, so I will say this:

You’re ‘together’ enough to come to the Schizophrenic forum to write of your experiences.

I am schizoaffective and am usually psychotic so I come here to read of other’s struggles with psychoses.

I cannot judge the veracity of your experiences but I think that you need to talk to someone you trust about your experiences. Someone not involved with the psych community. I’m not familiar with eunophiliacs but I know that I would be very concerned if someone was bent on castrating me!

I understand that you don’t know, at this point, exactly what these people want from you but I am in wholehearted agreement with your last sentence: I would never, never want to be ‘a castrated sex toy for obese men.’

I’m not sure that anyone here can do much to help you... I think that you need to find someone that you trust and tell them what’s happening. We can only be a stopgap, I think, sympathetic listeners and supportive souls but we can’t stop what’s happening.

Best of luck — write when needed!