I am sorry you are struggling.

I am not sure though why you are calling it divorce if you two weren’t married. Since you two have no children together, there is absolutely no need to be communicating. It’s hard to get over it if you keep talking. He wasn’t a suitable partner and it wasn’t right relationship for you, there was no commitment after 5 years. I can ensure you that there are plenty of nice men who will commit and treat you great. You just need to get overvthis one. Stop talking to him. Cut it off. Start healing.

And maybe do look for therapy. I think you need to really get to the bottom of why you stayed in relationship that lacked commitment, for that long. It doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t do. Focus on why you did what you did, so you don’t end up in the same situation again. Good therapist can really help