An epiphany can be a "wake up" call for a person, however, you cannot expect others to suddenly believe you when you tell them you are sorry and that you want to make things up to them.

It sounds like you have been at war with yourself, that you had a lot of anger and you ended up taking that out on your wife and your family. You can't expect your wife to just forget what you have put her through and that you pushed her to the point where she distanced from you. Her telling you that she is happier with this distance means that she finally realized that she was very unhappy and the distance brought her some relief and "freedom".

As someone who endured a lot of challenges myself with a husband that can be a Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, I can tell you that just because my husband apologized, it did not "just" take away the "years" of suffering that I experienced. Also, you have to understand that just because you experienced a wake up call, it's STILL all about you and your world. Your tears are about "yourself" as well and while you woke your wife up and cried, you were crying for yourself NOT FOR HER.

Getting up and making breakfast "for" your wife is ALSO about you too, do you know that? When someone experiences a wake up call, it's THEIR wake up call. So just because you see your own faults and whatever you failed to appreciate it's still about you and NOT about all the years you took your issues out on others and basically ran over their feelings, emotions, and wants and needs to actually experience someone who actually CARES about them and what all the bad behaviors that may have gone on for YEARS did to them.

One nite my husband came home from an AA meeting and the discussion he listened to was that all these individuals who were working on being sober, learning how to live their lives sober, learning that the world doesn't revolve around them, learning to finally GROW UP, that these individuals would have to understand how their wives/significant others would FINALLY go through their OWN kind of breakdown. Their significant others would have to have their own healing process and greiving for all the YEARS they endured their partners selfishness and abuse where they basically lived their lives around the alcoholic and HIS broken world and anger and whatever he ran away from in himself and ended up turning to alcohol.

Truth is ALL THE TIME my husband was going to meetings and learning how to live his life sober and GROW UP and admit his faults, IT WAS STILL ALL ABOUT HIM. My husband just assumed that because he finally admitted he had a problem and wanted to change and do better that I WOULD BE HEALED TOO. However, my husband NEVER realized the depth of what his problem was and how getting sober was and still is ALL ABOUT HIM, has actually left ME feeling lonely.

Getting up with YOUR epiphany and waking your wife up and crying was NOT about her, can see that? Being nice and making her breakfast is not about her either, again even though you see things differently IT'S STILL ABOUT YOU. You have to realize that you have NOT lived in HER shoes and you were NOT on the receiving end of what it has been like to live with someone who was so self absorbed and angry. Just because you all of a sudden decided you love her and appreciate her is NOT going to change HER FEELINGS and HURTS.