Hello Errant: I'm sorry I don't believe I have the answers you seek.
However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!
I don't know if you're here simply seeking suggestions related to this particular concern, or if you plan to continue on with us.
Assuming you plan to stay with us though (we hope you do), may I suggest you introduce yourself over on our New Members Introductions forum?
Here's a link:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/
My best wishes to you...