And I just don't want to ride this train again. Did not eat or take meds all day for the second day in a row and depressed for the first time in a while. Tonight I realized why. I am looking outside myself for validation
and absolutely hate it. The couple who live downstairs are very nice to me, but they are both serious alcoholics on the verge of eviction. On impulse I gave her a hundred bucks a couple of weeks ago to buy medication because she had been ill and could not afford it. I didn't expect the money back, of course, but she seemed so grateful. She
offered to help me clean since I am still recovering from a recent heart
attack. But that didn't happen. She has been to my apartment twice for
about ten minutes to pour out her woes. I feel for this woman, I truly do.
She is in her fourties and has been abused her entire life. But today she
hit me up for smokes and reminded me her birthday is Sat. Told me about a movie she and her fiance wanted to see, 'but we're broke'. I didn't get the chance to tell her I couldn't take them because my PTSD
doesn't let me do movies anymore. Cause I don't ever really get to talk.
Yeah, I can see where this is going. She saw some jewelry I was making, told me she wanted it and now expects me to come to her place on her birthday with a $45 piece that took me three days to make!
So...I feel sorry for her but I'm healing and I'm just tired of being used.
Think I'm being too harsh? Or reading the signs incorrectly? I'm really
interested in other members opinions on this. Thanks.
Flower