I have learned the following: Be careful of what precedents you set.

You're not the only one who is reading signs. Your downstairs neighbor is reading signs from you -like: If you need anything, let me know. Handing someone $100 that you don't expect back is pretty extravagant.

When I moved into my apartment ten years ago, my neighbor's adult son rang my doorbell the second night I was there. "Hi, I'm so-and-so. Could you lend me $20?" My answer: "Sorry, I haven't got any cash." That's my stock answer to getting asked that question by someone I don't want to get into a money-lending relationship with.

It turned out that this young man is a drug addict. I've lost track of how many times he has asked, "Hey, can you lend me $10?" He always gets the same answer from me: "Sorry, I don't have any money." I always have money, and he probably figures that I do. But I'm not getting into a back-and-forth with him. I never ask what he needs it for. Some conversations are not smart to get into. Sometimes he puts on a pleading facial expression with wrinkled brow and says, "Hey, could you possibly, please, please lend me just $5?" Then I say, "Gee, I'm sorry. I don't have any cash." I'm like a broken record.

The funny thing is that I don't dislike him and we get along great. He always gives me a cherry "hello," and I always make a little friendly small talk with him. But I'm very glad I set the right precedent right from the get-go. I think that's why there's no hard feelings between us.

It's never too late. You just gave to re-wire your neighbor's expectations. To do that, it's your own behavior that has to change. You don't have to get mad or go giving her any lecture. You just stop letting her decide what you're going to do.

Your time is just like your money. You don't have to let people just help themselves to your time whenever they feel like it, either. You don't have to let people "button-hole" you. (That's when you feel trapped into having a conversation you don't really want to partake of.) Same approach: "Gee, I'm sorry, but I have to make an important phone call. You'll have to excuse me. Bye." The flimsier your excuse, the better. That way the person catches on that you are simply dismissing them and taking control of what is rightly yours - your time. However, making some excuse allows everyone to save face. The flimsy excuse is a kindness on your part. And the person trying to hustle you will take it as such. That's what they instinctively do when someone tries to hustle them. The beauty of this approach is that no one has to be offended.