I feel my mother often did too many of my own tasks for me as a child, and as a result, I failed to learn how to do things for myself until much later than my peers. A very good example of this would be when I had to create a report for school. She would type out my reports as I dictated them to her, and this happened quite a lot. When it came time for me to type out my own reports at the computer, I really didn't know how to do it. I hadn't learned to use a word processor very efficiently nor how to type with two hands instead of plucking away with my one index finger. I also didn't know how to research very well because she would often oversee that aspect of the report process as well.
When it came to making friends, she and the mother of whomever I wanted to play with would arrange a playdate for us. It was nice at first, but after a while, the girls I often played with wouldn't want to play with me anymore. The girls wouldn't tell me directly, but rather, tell their mothers who would tell mine. I suppose they didn't want to come across as mean spirited, or wanted to hurt my feelings, which in hindsight, I do appreciate, but it still stung that they no longer wanted to play with me anymore.
I suppose it might have something to do with events that took place at their houses. One time I was playing hide and seek with one of these girls in their unfinished basement. There were a variety of things to hide behind, including a bunch of glass storm windows that this particular girl's parents would remove every spring from the windows on their house and store in the basement until it got cooler in the fall. I don't remember the specifics of what happened, but I recall the storm windows leaning up against the wall of the basement, creating a sort of triangle shaped space between them and the wall and floor. I was peering into this space thinking that one of my friends was hiding behind there during the game. I started shifting the window panes to get a better look, when one of them, a particularly huge pane of glass, fell down onto the floor in a great thunderous crash, shattering into about a million pieces.
I honestly didn't mean to break their storm window, nor thought it would even break apart like it did. In my mind, I thought that if it one of them did fall, the wooden frame would catch it somehow and prevent it from breaking. At least that was what my 6 year old self's logic at that time.
Needless to say, both the girl's parents and my own weren't at all too happy, and as a result, my parents payed for the damages, which came out of my allowance.
Another thing, I think played a factor was the budding sexuality I had and my confusions over it. My one friend had this idea to start a silly little club, as kids are prone to do at times, and declared that the initiation for this club was to crawl into the space under the stairs with a club member (i.e. her), close the door to this space so that she and the "initiate" were in total darkness, and the "initiate" was to kiss her on the lips. It was a silly thing, I suppose, but as a result, it became my first ever kiss with another human being. It had awakened some confusing feelings inside of me, and I guess that these feelings gave off vibes enough to make this girl, and the friends we shared, not want to hang out with me anymore.
I think all of these factors and experiences are why I am whom I am today, just as anyone's childhood experiences form a part of why they are who they are as adults. It doesn't mean that they are the way they are because of these experiences, or that these expeirences define their adult selves. It simply means that the experiences we are exposed to growing up sort of...influence our decisions as an adult. We can either choose to let them continue to influence our adult selves, or learn from them, understand them, and control whether or not they influence our adult selves, or find a more healthy way to express our adult selves if our pasts aren't that with which we are proud of, or want to influence our lives.
It's not really my mother's fault, she simply thought she was helping me. It's also not those girls' fault either. I am who I am today because of what I choose to be. I am in control of all parts of me, body, mind, soul, and emotions. I may be learning things on a later schedule than my peers because I always had things done for me when I was younger, because it was thought of as helpful to keep me at the same developmental pace as my peers, and maybe it did more harm than good, but we can't change the past now can we?
As a wise baboon once said...
"Yes, the past can hurt, but as I see it, you can either run from it....or learn from it."
~Rafiki, Disney's "The Lion King"