Well... I'm an old man now. But gender identity dysphoria is something I struggled with my entire life. I guess the one thing I can say is that, over the years, the severity of my dysphoria waxed & waned... although I would have to admit it did more waxing than it did waning.

It has been my experience that GID is nothing if not confusing. The reality is there's no test for it. Each of us has to come to a decision, in our own minds, as to whether or not we believe we are transgendered &, if so, what to do about it. And an important part of that decision-making process, I believe, is seeing a qualified & experienced gender therapist. So I am pleased to read that you're looking for one.

I do believe it's important to find a therapist who is experienced in working with people who have GID issues. A therapist who is not can do more harm than good, in my experience. You mentioned you've been doing some looking into surgery as well. Personally, I'd like to suggest that if you haven't yet spent some serious time with an experienced therapist, you're really not ready to be thinking about surgery at this point, except perhaps in the most casual of ways.

There are a couple of gender therapists who upload videos onto YouTube. One is Dara Hoffman-Fox. Here's a link to Dara's YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC75...wYHGQlc4w3-GGw

Another is "The Transition Channel":

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO...NpIn-KsVjvmLLw

Perhaps watching some of the videos on these channels will be of some help to you.