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Steiger
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Member Since Jan 2018
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Default Apr 27, 2018 at 06:31 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitch626 View Post
I'm fairly new here but I've got a problem and I'm not sure how to address it.
I lack emotion and many of them are fading quickly. I don't feel empathy, very little sympathy, very little remorse and no grief for humans. For whatever reason I feel all of that for animals. I feel like people are guilty and don't deserve anything from me, that the majority should die. But I do feel a whole lot of anger, irritation and joy when appropriate and sometimes when not. Example: my drunk of a mother got drugged and I was pleased to see her suffer. I'm very cold and typically I show no emotion at all. I will temporarily show appreciation or joy when I have progress in muscle development or good grades typically achieved from cheating. In addition to being cold as my mother calls it, I've become very sadistic. When someone pissed me off,
Possible trigger:
I promise none of this is stretched and is all very true.
Possible trigger:
I had a concussion at 7 or 8 which affected my speech creating a stutter which eventually faded and a slight lisp which still affects me at 16. I began to lose my emotions at 13 but I only noticed it at 15. I was a pretty good kid until I turned 13 and I then began getting in trouble. Trauma doesn't bother me, things that would typically affect people don't affect me by any means. I lie way too much about tiny little things. Often its to make my life easier or throw trouble elsewhere. Ive been diagnosed with chronic depression at 14 due to suicide attempts and self harm. I don't know what else to say besides normally everything is an equal meh and I have to mask emotions and pretend like I actually care. In addition I very rarely want to be around my family and I'm always in my room with my phone, drawing or reading a book. I can make friends but I tend to lose them. I lost my best friend in 8th grade because of my lack of emotions, that resulted in a large and long lasting fight that I didn't care about. Now my only friend resides online. My father was never in my life and my mother is a pathetic alcoholic. I gradually developed depression after my dog died when I was 11.

All I'm here for is some sort of possible answer to present and explain why I seem to be fading away. And yes I understand no one here is more than likely a trained professional.
Don't be concerned with trying to fit yourself into a diagnosis. Focus on articulating what you experience like you did right here. Shallow effect, and cold empathy is what you describe. It's a strange thing to deal with as far as interactions go with the neurotypical herd. It takes some getting use to, try not to get too frustrated or down about it. As your hormones start to express themselves you will sense the new steady state. I would try to stay away from drugs and alcohol during this timeframe.
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