Gentle touch. I'll definitely take that advice. He's not real perceptive with tone of voice either (can bite somebody's head off without realizing he did it) and he's so non-receptive to emotion, he can't tell the difference between just being upset and having an all-out mental health crisis. They look exactly the same to him. Which is the reason for his automatic "do you need to be seen" every time I'm the least bit upset.

The situation has improved some. It used to be that every time he asked me that question, I'd get even MORE upset because to me it looked like he's not taking me seriously. He'd see me escalating and think yes, I'm definitely having an episode, and it keeps building from there. In the end it can create a crisis when none would have happened if I'd just been allowed to show my emotions without having to defend it. ("Now, see? I knew you were building up to this."--"Yeah, I built up to it with YOUR bricks!")

It doesn't happen as often now, but it still does happen. He only partially understands that emotions are not automatically a crisis.