Hi samj40. I am sorry you have so much anxiety about telling people IRL. Online honesty is maybe a safer place to fully reveal.

The other problem I see is not that people hate us because of sexual orientation, they just know nothing about it unless they have experimented with their sexuality. To be honest I have to start google when people tell me the technical terms for their sexuality. I am always surprised how much I do not know about this.

For me as person that considers myself unique and thinks differently, I find it frees me up a great deal in life not to have to explain myself to others. They probably will not understand anyway if they are not up on transgender issues. Why expose ourselves to another level of scrutiny?

Realistically, when people say "How are you?" do they really want to know or is it just a polite way of making conversation. I don't think anyone has to display an explanation of how they see themselves. If they can find one or two other people that seem to understand and care, in my opinion that is enough.

I guess for me it reminds me of the struggle I had within for my parents to accept me as I saw myself not how they wanted to see me. I never got there with them. I think parents get an idea of who their kids are and that seems to stick around forever. I finally had to just play the part around them and have my own self esteem just knowing I am who i am no matter what people think of me.

These may be of interest
https://psychcentral.com/lib/bluepri...g-self-esteem/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/building-self-esteem/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...r-self-esteem/