I feel like I’d love to be a social person where I can relate to people easily and open up to people without feeling anxiety/awkward, but there’s a part of me that feels the same way as you. Socializing can sometimes be draining and you never know how the other person will react to what you say. Being alone is fun when you have enough things to keep you busy that you enjoy. I spend a lot of time doing absolutely nothing because I have a hard time building interests, so it’s not so fun always being alone for me, I’m doing mostly what I can to change this. It just seems like the outside world can sometimes be cruel and careless. I have to make the #1 priority myself, because I’m the only one that can give 100% care for myself.