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Default May 08, 2018 at 08:05 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
No need to apologise! I figured something was going on.
That's good as I'm not going to be around PC as much the next couple of weeks. I didn't want you to think that I was annoyed with you or something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
Hmm, I could look into this a bit more. I know that worrying my wife and partner are mad at me and continually asking that could be related to OCD. I was diagnosed with it many years ago and did a lot of treatment for it. I feel the thoughts are rather quite intrusive, and ones that I must act on by asking, else they won't go away. It happened with my partner and I in 2012, around the time I received treatment for said condition. I need to get ahold of the book Brain Lock again and re-read the skills it taught and practice them.
Whether this is 'standard' reassurance seeking behaviour, or OCD in nature, I think it's worth exploring where the worry comes from. I would imagine that it has it's routes in low self-esteem... I think that knowledge is power and when you understand where an unhelpful belief comes from, it's much easier to challenge it. Eg when I heard these 2 voices regularly and I realised that they were repeating old messages from my grandmother, they lost most of their power to upset me, and they eventually went away completely when I no longer believed what my grandmother had always told me about myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
Hmm, that is a good point. I looked at you from two extremes...Though even whilst I was on the extreme that you were after me, I still saw you as very intellectual and insightful. I just thought it was being used against me.
It's not the intellect being present or not that I meant by splitting, but believing that the intellect was being used for 'good' and then for 'evil', so to speak. That is the two extremes that I was referring to if it wasn't clear before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
I will put it in my bullet journal when I take Diazepam for anxiety to figure if there is a correlation between taking the medication as needed and symptoms that arise from it. Such as those you mentioned (hallucinations, impulsivity, suicidal or SH behaviours).
As I said, diazepam doesn't have those effects on me either, but it's something to be aware of with that class of medication, and I think tracking it could be a good idea as it might have some effect, good or bad, or even trigger for its use, that you haven't noticed before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
Its actually very irresponsible of said health care providers if you ask me.
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
The one good thing that came out of adding Abilify was that it improved my ability to stay away. Less sedation. I am grateful for that. I can stay up 12-14 hours normally, and if required, 16. Much better than in the past.
That's good to hear. It's so important to be able to live a life on the medication, or IMO what is the point of them as a tool?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
But I do wonder how much of it is bad that I don't know which way is up or down in terms of my symptoms.
Perhaps mindfulness will help here? Observe the thoughts without judging them as 'good' or 'bad'. Sometimes uses a mindfulness meditation whereby you put the thoughts onto leaves in a stream and watch them flow away.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
Its all confusing as hell, not knowing what is what right now. I don't always know what or who to trust.


Congratulations on passing your exam and being accepted onto the course. I'm glad that it didn't go as badly as you feared it would.

*Willow*
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