Thank you Laurie, I was a bit nervous about doing so out of concern that it would not be welcome in this thread. Not sufficiently to refrain from posting, but I was bracing myself a bit when I came back to see if there were any responses.

I did think of the name of another med that I was on since I wrote this and it brings up another personal reason for not wanting to be on meds. I was put on seroquel for a schizophrenia spectrum disorder - again, one dose and done. But here's another reason for being anti-meds for me that I didn't think of in my original post: I don't have a schizophrenia spectrum disorder - they know that now. I also don't have BPD, they know that now too - though I have been misdiagnosed with that too. In fact, I've been misdiagnosed and prescribed meds for a dozen or more psychiatric conditions that psychologists have now determined that I do not have. I can't get to the real conditions if I am medicated into a stupor - and too many of them did that to me.

We are about the same age by the way... Well, I've been more or less diagnosed with major depressive disorder for thirty years. I am a high functioning autistic, and I have dissociative identity disorder as well.

So what do I do instead of meds? Five years ago I was diagnosed with some physical conditions that don't allow me to exercise at all - literally, at all. That used to be something in my toolbox. However, I still meditate about an hour a day. I have found that for me, a vegetarian diet helps, so I am a vegetarian. I see a therapist who is the best fit I have ever had and yes, she is a big help. I write - a lot. I just shared with someone, about an hour ago, how I recently typed thirty-seven pages over a two week period on 'shame' and how it affects me and didn't stop until I had a life-changing epiphany at the bottom of page thirty-seven.

Anyway, that's about it...but it works for me.