I have borderline personality disorder and have had lots of trauma growing up. I now have 2 kids of my own. A 2 1/2 year old and a 6 year old. I'm a school counselor somehow by the grace of God. I think I'm a pretty smart gal but it's definitely harder when it's your own kids.
I have a very hard time allowing my kids to experience hard emotions. I think I try to over compensate for my past. I'm trying to parent me as a kid if that makes sense. If my kids are upset or crying it's hard for me to not fix it for them and take away the pain. I also get annoyed with their feelings at times (which I hate doing and admitting). I think it's mostly because no one was ever there to take away mine or care for my pain growing up. I felt alone and empty.
But I logically know I need to let them experience tough emotions and challenges because that will ultimately help them be more successful in life. I guess I'm just lost. I don't really know where the fine line is. I suppose writing this helps too.
How do I parent my strong willed 6 year old but still show her I love and care about her feelings? At what point do I help her feel better and at what point do I let her sit with those hard feelings? Should I be asking a different question all together?