Hi EnigmaticBeing ,
I too am trans , MtF , and I have liked the color blue although not my favorite , but I too have played in masculine ways and have since learned it was the exploration of life , boys play as girls / while girls play as boys. it is part of life .
The interesting part is where you are strong enough in your feelings to write how you enjoyed wearing women's clothing , me too , it better quality so much more comfortable
.
Last Sept. 27th when it first passed my lips to my therapist ears that I was trans , was like the weight of the world being lifted from my entire body. The following day , I got out of bed thinking I did it , after all these years someone now knows the real me. Plus I was OK with me being me.
I made it quite clear I was not or never have been gay , and as far as hanging with the guys , no thanks , I rather go to a tea party
I told my T this is the real me , growing up my parents never bought me a Tonka truck , I had science sets . erector sets , chemistry sets , music , science and arts I loved and still do.
In my teen going thru puberty was hell , the dysphoria was dreadful , and in HS gym class was more traumatic than you could ever imagine.
One day I asked my late mom , why she never bought me a Tonka truck , her reply was all mom , my mom , and she said " did you really want one ? " and I said no , not really I was just curious , then went back in my room and finished working on my first short wave radio ( with tubes ) , not a crystal radio , I already built one of those
The bottom line is be you , I have no idea what your age is and it is non of my biz and really matter , you need to be you . Not tomorrow bit right now , because tomorrow will be to late.
What am I saying ?????
Simple , the younger you are , the better chance you have at a successful transition , if that is what you want.
Your dysphoria , is your feeling right now , and it will not go away , I have had to live with my dysphoria for over 55 years , not a fun way to spend a lifetime. I figure the good Lord will make things right
I often think back , wishing I would have told my late mom and dad I was trans , because what I know now is they would have helped , even if it was 40 years ago they would have found a way to get me the best care possible , and my late mom loved to shop , so there would be no problem there , and I would have had my "happy life" .
Now all I have are regrets and a therapist payment once a week.
I guess what I am trying to say is if you are young / have a loving family with insurance , tell them you are trans , if they love you they will not turn away .
My parents would have been so supportive , I would have transitioned decades ago , been a research scientist , cured cancer and probably been in line to be the next surgeon general !!
But fear robbed me of my life , please don`t let it take yours .
Be yourself and love your self for the courage to be you
Keyplayer
