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LabRat27 · Jun 04, 2018 at 12:32 AM

Because a significant portion of the RBCs in my blood came from other people who donated blood to save lives, not so some ungrateful little **** could wash it down the drain and use up even more blood that other people need
Because I made a verbal commitment to the ER psychiatrist that I wouldn't, and my word is important to me
Because I'd probably end up inpatient this time, which would significantly interfere with my work and force others to pick up my slack
Because it didn't feel like "enough" last time or any other time, so why would I think this time would be any different?
Because people already see how bad things are and that I need help, and I don't need to prove it to anyone.
Because you're not allowed to pee unsupervised on a psych hold, and I really really hate that rule
Because cleanup is a pain in the ***
Because even if it's shallow enough that I can suture it myself, it will take all night and I'll be exhausted all day tomorrow
Because I'm tired of having to redress wounds every morning
Because it doesn't solve anything
Because I want to be able to comfortably walk long distances and take the stairs again
Because sutures are itchy
Because it gets worse every time
Because with my hemoglobin already this low, a mistake could actually mean accidentally dying
Because the people who are worried about me deserve better