Thanks for the support. I feel like I have hit the dead end of hope and ideas. I previously had this idea that I was going to lose 20 lbs per year and then eat normal for most of the year. The problem was that I gained weight too easily during the times off. Almost wiping out my weight loss.

I realized I felt the need to binge when I wasn't dieting because I would be dieting soon. That set up an intolerable situation.

Also it seems like my weight loss has slowed and I suspect that is due to age. Even if I kill myself and eat about 800 cals per day... I don't lose weight. So the maximum i think I can lose for 13 weeks of dieting is 13 lbs which I can easily gain back 7 from.

I took a pill last year Belviq. it worked to kill any cravings but it was just intolerable. I could hardly remember anything and ended up having palpitations. I took Phentermine this year and it just didn't work. I was still hungry.

But at the same time I am exhausted and my knees hurt. One time I went on this liquid diet plan due to pain in my feet and I stuck to it. I lost 60 lbs but gained it back. I am considering doing that again.