Thank you, what you wrote felt refreshing.
Ever since I left my religion, eastern philosophies started to become of interest for me.
There is this “small” and “hopefull” part of me that wants to dive deep into these philosophies like Buddhaism and Hinduism, maybe they would help me rebuild myself after these 4 chaotic years. I trust them as philosophies because some people consider them as philosophies rather than actual religions and because they encourage meditation. When I was a Muslim I didn’t believe in meditation but ever since I left I tried it out of curiosity and it felt beautiful. I wish to continue meditating but the depression i have is really making me very lazy and because of it I’m sometimes telling myself that I don’t want to be happy anymore.