Hi Skeezyks ,

I understand , it sux being so confused all the time . I am not really confused that much since I came out to my T last Sept 27th.

But the dysphoria never leaves , it constantly bugging me. I am 65 , will be 66 in Nov.

We have both seen our fair share , I hear you , that would be a good idea , but they would ask why , and living in NH , is not like Mass , even though it is only a 15 minute drive .

I watch there Pride Day parade in Boston on tv , and up here in NH , there was no mention of Pride month at all .

Not a trans friendly state , that is for sure.

Sorry I could not get back to you earlier , I have been in self destruct mode , June 7 was the 13 anniversary of my moms passing and this Friday the 15th will be 3 years I lost my dad.

I told my T , I was out clearing the back of my mobile home lot so the park owner would not charge me , and I worked a weed-whacker like 3 hours straight without a break , because I didn't`t care. By the time I was done I had such a pull in my right elbow tendon I could not bring my right hand to my face , it was the weirdest thing , it didn't`t hurt , my arm just would not bend , it was ok that evening , but I am so down , I would not care if it feel off .

I went through this last year , that is why I sought out a therapist , I have been trying so freak`n hard to overcome all the crap , sometimes , I would just as soon cash in my chips.

But it is weird , because I am not suicidal , I just don`t care , if death came knocking , I would probably ask him in for a beer before we left !! LOL

I am ok , just a very dark time for me right now , take care , be well .

I`m trying LOL

Later

Keyplayer 