Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer
As far back as I can remember I’ve always had the most intense fear of being loved, emotions, and people in general. I remember so clearly being very little sitting in the back seat of the car every day and often having anxiety and fear of my parents saying something like they love me. Strange, I can’t understand why. My 1st day of kindergarten and most days thereafter I ran hiding behind the bush for fear of people, not wanting to be near people. In 1st to 3rd grade during play session I followed the lady around everywhere.
As an adult I really really really don’t like earth humans. Hugging seems nice but it's horrible when anyone hugs me. I wish some ETs would beam me up and take me away from this hell. People seem fake, like they're completely different than I am. That includes therapists.
|
Personally, I think you're afraid of commitment because of the possibility of being rejected.
It seems to me that your parents weren't supportive enough to understand the deep emotional need you seek, and because of that "feeling" you experience now has been hard wired into your psych.
The fear of rejection can be cured, however...separating the humans from your kind is not only a long dusty road, it's not going to take you where you need to be. In example, to be accepted and loved. BUT you're aware of this already, just not sure how to have an escape plan..
I come in peace