Quote:
Originally Posted by seelenna123
I have been going to therapy now for a few months for c-PTSD. I am processing a collection of memories with EMDR, not very successfully yet.
Unrelated I have a really weird sensation that I'd like to bring up with my therapist but I'm not sure how he'll take it. It feels so abstract and strange I don't really know how to word it or what will come from talking about it. I don't want to feel like I'm trying to make something of nothing but this is just nagging me.
When I was about 4/5 I used to experience this out of body feeling that I was standing on something unstable and looking at myself in a strange blue world. Along with that feeling I'd sometimes get, I had this weird sensation that would randomly overcome me that something too big was pressing in my mouth against my teeth. I used to try and think what it could be and would put hard objects like duplo lego in my mouth to see if I could recreate that feeling. Throughout my life, I've continued to have moments, only at night where this sensation comes back but they became rare and I've never thought anything of it. Recently its been happening more regularly and I've been thinking maybe its something more than just a weird feeling I get.
Well last week I was processing a memory with EMDR and the same night around 2am, that feeling came to me but it became so intense, it was making me gag and feel suffocated... I started to panic and had to get up and force myself to breath and swallow water to prove I could actually breath. I got really emotional which isn't normal for me.
I had a strong feeling that perhaps this is actually some kind of memory, that maybe my body remembers but I don't. I have very early and vivid memories but I don't have anything I can connect this feeling to.
Is it worth bringing up in therapy? Will I sound completely crazy? I'm not too used to this talking to someone just yet and I haven''t really fully let go to opening up. I'm trying...
Thanks
|
we cant tell you what this is, only you and your own treatment providers can do that....
what I can tell you from having children, yes children put a variety of large objects in their mouths and sometimes that object can get stuck or in the back of the throat where its hard to breath. my oldest child when they were about 3 got a toy lodged in their mouth at an angle where it pressed up against their teeth and caused them to have trouble breathing. a quick trip to the ER got the object removed but sometimes this same child has nightmares of something hard pressing against their teeth and trouble breathing. the child has forgotten everything about the traumatic even but still has problems emotionally because of it.
when this child goes through their panic attacks at night we have some thing comforting near by (their favorite toy, blanket, a tiny flash light ) we also leave the hall light on.
the childs panic attacks are lessening.
my suggestion is until you and your treatment provider canget to the bottom of whats going on with you maybe do the same thing. set thins up so that at night when you are having your panic attacks you can comfort yourself. maybe even keep your treatment providers phone number near by.
as for the strange blue world well children do have active imaginations. I used to believe I stood on a Red and orange world. it turned out to be I had seen a tv show that showed mars and other planets and in my mind I imagined myself going there. sometimes imagination can feel so real.
not saying it is your imagination just that it was mine. to find out what this strange blue world is for you, you will need to contact your treatment providers.