I really don't know what to do. I've been depressed for so long and have ideation. I've been thinking of going to the hospital for maybe five months but am too afraid to go. I just feel like I won't be taken seriously. I don't think I'll get admitted and I doubt my insurance will see outpatient as medically necessary. And I mean, if I haven't done it for five months what's the issue? But I'm just scared of what the future holds knowing that this ideation is not a phase and is just a part of my life now.