Quote:
Originally Posted by Christopher1990
I get existential crisis. Which kind of fits into how you feel about yourself in this world. Like what's this all for. A lot has to do with ego and loss of ego.
With me its like I have nothing left to hang on to. Whatever I'm trying to hang onto doesn't matter.
I worked so hard to be someone or something and I don't know where that person has gone.
After each episode I lose a great deal of character. My whole identity is forced to change and I can never go back.
The only thing to do is move forward.
I know I have some ptsd from these hospitals and a stay at jail. I just seem to try and not think about it but this can't be healthy. I have nighmarres almost every night and sometimes wake up in cold sweats thinking I'm still locked up in a hole.
Good topic
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Oh I get having an existential crisis BIG time. I've had many of those. I remember three of them most clearly. While in the ward six years ago, and after my stay there I had to move back to my hometown (which involved a major event that spent me spiraling for about five years). Also, there was a neighbor of mine who died in our apartment complex. I ended up back in the ward from my existential crisis that occurred after his passing.
I understand losing that sense of character. I would tell people and treatment providers about how I didn't know who I was anymore. I had no skills, hobbies, or life. I'm slowing rediscovering much of myself thank God.
Wow, I'm just giving you a big virtual hug if that's okay
. I'm hoping that you can work through that trauma and heal. I worry about how my brother will be when he's released. I can't imagine what jail/prison must be like.