I will put my hands in the air and say that maybe my detainment in hospital had just as much or even held more weight in the blame for me having no confidence to put myself back out here . Unlike Fred who solely blamed me for "burning his bridges." I did the opposite and tried to goad him to text or phone them.
I could have made new friends after hospital but it would have been a bad crowd. Fred and my family would completely have washed their hands of me if I was with the wrong crowd. And Fred was bad enough at turning me more against parents than I was all ready. So if I told others the way my family were, they may have convinced me I was better off without them.
I was a bit scared of being lonely. It would have been worse than just lonely, maybe homeless. I had no faith in the system in my country because we all get fed horror stories in papers and programmes.
If I had went into the hostels at 18 waiting for accommodation I am not sure I could have stayed away from drugs. I think I may have resorted to the final solution.
The hospital softens the blow. People aren't shocked to find out a mental patient or a drug user has done away with themselves.
I remember my neighbour speaking about a heroin addict coming to her door to try sell some il gotten gains. My neighbour said she was nice to her on one or two occasions so they probably don't have many people to turn to. That saying hello a couple of times and a simple act of kindness is a lot for a "junkie" when most don't understand them or shun them or speak about them like the devil's own.