I'm feeling pretty defeated. I've tried 24 different medications for mood. I've tried ECT twice, TMS once, and ketamine infusions. I've been in therapy many times over the years and completed an IOP program. Hospitalization once. I've tried different supplements and vitamins. I've been an active person running, soccer, yoga. hiking etc.. I've read tons of self help and spiritual books. Try meditation and all those things recommended, mindfulness, DBT, CBT, ACT etc.. But, all the self care and therapies only help to a certain extent. I find myself with this episode of depression really stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so defeated like nothing works well enough to get myself to the point where I can fully function and get out of this quicksand of depression that is suffocating me. I'm feeling like I have to accept the fact that I just can't get better. Feeling hopeless. I haven't been able to work in over a year, and still feel like cognitively I can't do it. I'm scared.

Have any of you tried getting into any clinical trials for treatments?

I feel like I don't know what to do next or where to go for help and I'm losing hope in any of the available treatments.

Any suggestions out there?