At least Fred came from a large family so going home for lunch wasn't a big deal. But my brother got enough money for everyday. Enough to smoke. Enough to buy chip shop every other day. I am amazed that my parents payed the fees for my sport.
A friend of mine thought that because we had sky tv that we were spoiled. Fred could say he had a large family. But mine had no excuses. My mum tried to coax me into first and seconds, a second hand shop on a trip to nearest city. Yes, I know there are kids in poverty. And kids in care. But if you feel neglected compared to all the kids around you, then of course depression creeps in. If you feel like a black sheep and you know that you only feel ostracized because of money. But there is more to this equation, there has to be. I thought I know my mum hates my father, and my brother was her favourite. My brother got money when he asked from my mum. And a phone contract. My mum shopped for him all the time and told me boys need more. So that was it: boys need more. I couldnt change that view. I didn't believe it but she said it over and over.
I didn't have the confidence to fight for a Saturday job or weekdays in chip shop etc. And going to my father's was a good excuse to NOT apply myself to find a job. I did apply for jobs. But nobody takes on someone who is shy unless for example they are family or a friends kid really. And pretending only works for so long. I did get offered a job but I knew one of the girls would probably not make life easy for me. Two girls who are friends I stood no chance. Maybe they would have been ok and it was just my self-doubt. I should have tried in hindsight. They were the normal ones. It was my thinking and not them. I was a bag of nerves. A crowded coffee shop, I'm not sure I could have done it. One day a week, maybe.

Even when I started working at 17 thankfully I got a shelf stacking job and didn't work on tills.
Technically I started working at 15 in the gym. Got paid for it at 16. So it was worth hanging on. And that really helped me to keep off the streets. And then I destroyed it all anyway.
The depression and self esteem I struggled with, just resulted in me being called lazy. My father, thug coach, some teachers. And obviously my mother. My friends just thought I was odd. Funny and clever, yes. But odd. I found it hard to relax. My friends didn't want to so anything I told my team mate and my work mate. The truth was we didn't have a lot of expendable income. Most of us didn't.
My second boss at supermarket would sometimes find it amusing that I never stayed still . Other times a bit frustrated. What's up. Just chilling.
When I had a blip at my longest running job. I told the boss when I had a mini melt down that I don't get the chance to chill. And I had to take about 8 weeks off.