Quote:
Originally Posted by depressedandlonely
I always feel very guilty and ashamed of myself after i watched porn. I feel porn is degrading and very dirty, yet i watch it anyway. And afterward i would start feeling very guilty and ashamed. I keep watching porn a secret to my parents and friends. I am afraid they would think of me differently if they know i watch porn.
I watch porn when i feel lonely or some erotic feeling aroused in me.
I don't know what to do to deal with the guilt and the shame.   |
Okay so here is the thing my friend!!! Guilt and the pressure it puts on your mind is likely what brings you to pornography in the first place, along with the need for sexual expression with another human being (this is by design).
(1) Life is about creating your own personal boundaries while negatively impacting other people as little as HUMANLY possible. If you feel guilty it might be your brains way of telling you that you are using porn too often and it wants you to lessen the stimulation load you are putting on it.
(2)Baby steps are the key to removing or lessening anything in your life that you spent allot of time placing there in the first place. For example if you watch porn daily try to do it every other day, if it gets unbearable you can masturbate to relieve yourself. When you feel confident increase the time between use.
(3)Come to terms with your expectations of your self vs your expectations of others. If you look down on people who use porn than by all rights judge your self with the same ruling. If you don’t than have some compassion for your self.
(4)That “poor girl/guy in the video” has made their own boundaries. You are NOT hurting or degrading them, and they are being paid well for their efforts, with full knowledge others will be watching to comfort them selves.
(5)If you feel porn is wrong take a day and go somewhere outside nice and secluded with paper and pen and ask yourself why. Is it because people have told you so because people have told them so because people have told them so...? see point 4. Examine the root of the guilt and again please please please have compassion for your human self.
In closing i believe moderation is the spice of life and challenge breeds excellence. If you are in a relationship have a conversation with your lover about your porn use, if not than supplement as necessary. Porn is very addicting and can be damaging to your brain (reversible). If it is interfering with your life cut way way back. If your life is productive despite your porn use than guilt will be far more damaging. It took me longer than i would like to admit to feel this way and i am all the freer from it.
You may want to try to stop trying to be what you feel the world wants you to be and just be yourself. The ball is forever in our court.