I found out that most of my issues, as for their existence, it all comes back to me being allowed to get away with having screaming tantrums even when I was almost a teenager and adults just shutting down rumors that I had some kind of disability. And the bullying only affected me because my childhood turned out to be a lie. Before it all happened, I didn't even have a low self-esteem and in fact, I was almost incapable of caring about what people said, like people could piss me off a little and I would not think of it again and that would be the most that people were capable of doing to me when they tried to lower my self-esteem. But high self-esteem or not, realizing everything you knew was a lie is traumatizing. Need I say more that it all comes back to my anger? As a kid, I would shout until I blew off steam. Part of me is still used to that and wishes I could do that every time I got angry.