I'm sorry I'm not able to answer your questions.
But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would.
(Hopefully other members, here on PC, who can will yet reply to your post.)
I don't know if, by some chance, you are familiar with gender therapist Dara Hoffman-Fox on YouTube. Here's a link to one of Dara's videos on the topic: "Difficult Trans-Related Conversations & Tips on How to Have Them":
YouTube
I have to admit I haven't watched the video myself.
So I don't know how applicable it will be. But perhaps it can be of some help.