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emeraldheart
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Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 136
5 yr Member
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Default Aug 24, 2018 at 07:10 PM
 
T today. Exhausting as always.

T: We need to talk about it, Em

Me: I know

T: How does it feel, talking about how we need to talk about it?

Me: I just don’t want to go back there. It’s done. It’s all in the past.

T: But Em, just based on what you’ve told me so far, you already go back there every day. Part of you might know that this is all in the past, but the rest of you is still living in that horror.

Me: *winces at the word “horror”* Well how do I stop that then?

T: We need to start talking about it.

Me: You said that already.

T: Once we start addressing this, then I won’t need to say it anymore.

Me: Oh, that reminds me...*starts launching into a completely unrelated story*

T: Em, if you want to go there, then it’s your choice. I understand this is difficult. But, I really think we should try and open this locked box now. I really want to help you feel better, and that means keeping us in this direction.

Me: It’s too painful.

T: I know. And I’m sorry. But remember, when you went through this, you faced it alone. You survived. You’re not alone anymore. I’m right here and I will do wat I can to help you through this. But you need to be willing to go there.

Me: Every time we come close, I get scared. How do I make sure I can handle everything when I leave after the hour is up?

T: It is a conundrum isn’t it? I ask you to dive into this and then show you the door several minutes later.

Me: What if my pain can’t follow a time limit?

T: I don’t expect that it can. By pushing you to talk, I am partly responsible for that pain. Which means, I am also partly responsible for alleviating that pain. If things become too much during the week, please reach out and contact me. I will respond. In the meantime, we can also find other ways to help. We can manage this, we just need to find the right formula. So, can we try and start now?

Me: okay.

Needless to say, the session ended in tears and lots of it. Also ended several minutes over.
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