Well, one of the things I mentioned in the previous comment (telling me that he "loved" me). This one is an absolute "red flag" to me, though many people on this forum seem to think otherwise.

There were many others. He was telling me that he was seeing "God" in me, that he thought about me all the time "in and out of sessions" and other crazy stuff like that. He initiated holding hands..There was inappropriate self-disclosure and many other things. Like I said, I don't believe it's helpful to give a "list" of all the actions that are or could be potentially problematic because all this stuff is very subtle, very individual, very unique to each individual case
. Please, understand that this is not about specific actions, about specific things that therapists do or don't do. It's about the whole attitude towards their work and a particular client. The therapist I am talking about was not the most harmful to me, believe it or not. The one who harmed me most was also the one who never crossed any boundary of the acceptable professional behavior. The one who has crossed the formal boundary was a guy with a bunch of unresolved personal problems who genuinely believed that he was helping me and who had no clue what a therapist role was. The "professional" one was truly abusive. He played sadistic mind games but there is nothing specific I can tell you about it right now that would make you see it clearly. So, abuse is not just about violating the formal code of ethics. A therapist can exploit a client's vulnerabilities without ever crossing any formal ethical boundary and you will never be able to explain to anyone how it happened because there will be no particular behavior/action that you can point to.