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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
My abuse was not sexual. It could be best described as emotional seduction, which turns a relationship into a somewhat sexualized "friendship" when intense emotions and mutual sharing are involved and yet it doesn't cross the line of the physical boundary, which allows people to keep pretending that nothing wrong is happening.
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this is very similar to what i experienced as well. it never became sexual or crossed inappropriate physical boundaries, but it definilty was intense with a lot of emotional sharing and 'intimate' openness between my ex-T and me that made the relationship feel very special and unique. in many ways, as it was happening, i did view it and even believed it was healing for me. i definitly felt 'emotionally seduced'.
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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
it was like the therapist simply wasn't aware of his professional role and what it entailed and allowed himself a lot of inappropriate behaviors while still believing he was doing "therapy". And I was too vulnerable and too confused for a long time to understand what was taking place for what it was.
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this is exactly what i have come to understand about my experince with my ex-T. ultimately, i believe it happened because my T was using the relationship, under the guise of therapy, to fulfill his own needs, and i don't think he really was even consciously aware of what he was doing.
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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
They are way too dependent just to cut the connection and, just like people in all abusive relationships, they stay in denial of what is really happening for a very long time. They keep excusing, rationalizing and justifying the therapist's behavior until they hit rock bottom.
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exactly. i hit rock bottom and it was at that point when the veil was finally lifted from my eyes that i fully started to come to understand and recognise what had been going on and playing out in the relationship with my ex-T. i finally could see that it was not a healthy relationship or helpful to my own well-being and healing. because i was so enmeshed and attached to my ex-T, i decided to take my time and work towards de-attaching myself from him so i could leave therapy when i felt i was strong enough and had the courage to. in the end, this probably became the most healing aspect of my six years of therapy with him...in a sense, i grew my wings and learned to leave the nest and say good bye in a healthy manner and on my own terms. for me, it was an empowering experience.