i'm faced with a dilemma right now. i'd been squirreling away doses of my meds for months just in case this happened, but i reached the end of my emergency supply last week and i am no longer a haver of zoloft. my psych refuses to write me a new prescription unless i see her, not even an emergency one to tide me over to a future appointment. the thing is i don't have any money for an appointment. i've already seen a doctor once this year, and at the rate my psych charges i'll be into my deductible and paying out of pocket if i see her. i have $142 in the bank -- $110 already has to go to my junior college tuition payment plan. instead of any empathy for my situation, i got lectured for not taking my medication properly and tapering off for a few weeks without supervision -- even as she forces me to go cold turkey without supervision. yesterday i got a letter in the mail -- i guess that was what she meant when she said she'd get back to me after i cried on the phone clearly in a crisis -- saying that if i don't make an appointment within 30 days i'll be dropped from treatment. maybe i'm just too poor to deserve to be well lmao whatever. what i'm trying to ask is should i make the appointment with the money i don't have just to get my meds back and end this sickness? or should i just tell her to go forth and fornicate with herself like my addled brain is telling me to? i don't know if i'm being irrational to be this upset about this, it just seems heartless to leave me in the cold like this. i feel like i'm being held hostage.

what i'm also trying to say is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever evereverevereverever live in america if you can help it.