Honestly I don't know the answer to this. (I wish there were other trans PC members who were replying to posts here at the moment. I suspect there are other members who would be better prepared to offer some solid advice than I am.) In my case, I am resigned to not caring how people see me or if they see me. In fact, I actually avoid people in general to the greatest extent possible. But, then, I'm an old man now. And that works for me. I don't recommend it for anyone else.

I do know something, I think, about what you're saying regarding feeling like you have to change your personality & hobbies to be 'normal' before you can let other people see you. My own gender identity is something I've struggled with my entire life. (It's a long story.) And I've spent my whole life trying to maintain a facade of what I perceived to be 'normality'. Unfortunately I didn't do it very well. And it resulted in me doing a lot more harm than good.

I wish I knew how to tell you to get to the point where you feel good enough just as you are. I suppose the obvious answer is therapy. I imagine, perhaps, the other thing that would help would be to surround yourself with people who value you just as you are... the real you. I think it is extremely difficult to be the "real you" when you're surrounded by people who are determined to have you be the person they want you to be. I was always extremely isolated myself, both in terms of my GID issues as well as my other mental health issues. (And I still am.) The one time I felt as though I at least began to chip away at this was a few years ago when I discovered the trans community that existed at the time on YouTube. I can't say it ended well in my case. (That's another long story.) But for a short while it was like the proverbial breath of fresh air!

You mentioned feeling as though you carry a lot of shame from earlier in your life. I am personally well acquainted with shame. Perhaps the key to feeling good enough just as you are is resolving your feelings of shame. By doing so you can perhaps find it within yourself to accept yourself just as you are & let that person who is the real you be the person you show to the world. So, with that thought in mind, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to let go of shame:

Learn How to Let Go of Shame and Forgive Yourself

Shame: Identify It, Heal It, and Leave It Behind

Defusing Shame by Sharing It

4 Hidden Ways Shame Operates

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

https://psychcentral.com/blog/mindfu...ng-with-shame/