No, it's not unreasonable. You put so much into (our) lives. You literally give all and that we would take it so much for granted is wrong - it's abominable.

I've said so before but your posts have really awoken how necessary these 'little' things are in maintaining those unseen bonds. Men are so stupid; so two-dimensional, we are. We think its the 'big things' that matter, not realising that the big bonds are made of many, much smaller strands.

I appreciate your reminding me of that - though I know it wasn't your intention. You're honest, open reflections about a number of things have been touching.

But I think you'd mentioned a few things about alcohol and drug use on your husband's part - the thing with that is those substances numb and sedate and stupefy. That is their function, and anyone living in a state of numbed senses won't have those pangs of remorse, won't be aware of the signs...won't 'play the film to the final frame'. The idea of that kind of loss doesn't seem to bother them.


Those remorse-masking agents have to go first. Maybe if he were taking things that lended themselves to reflection, moments of epiphany, it would be different, but certainly regularly using pain-killing, opiate-like substances will defeat any chances of him going through what would be a very painful look in the mirror.

Cheers!