Why?

I blame my mother 100%

She was a perfectionist and expected that of me. I was forced to perform at a high level; not to please, her rather to escape her wrath. if I got second, I hadn't won and was a loser. If I got 97% I had screwed up on the other three and was a failure. That sort of thing. I learned from her two things. You had to excel or not even bother. To miss that performance target or minimum standard was the worse thing you could do. I learned to forever live with the fear of failure thanks to her - and the punishment or ramifications that came as a result. Thus the pattern of unbelievable high and unrealistic standards - and quitting before failure and punishment comes as a result.