Sorry, this is quite a long post. I've experienced similar event recently. My mother took over my birthday meal, talking about her "depression". Then announced how much she'd enjoyed the day!

For years it's been all about her. Okay, she was widowed young, with two children to bring up solo, then made a poor choice for second marriage. In dedicating her life to him, she lost sight of her children's needs. My brother has taken this in his stride, he's more laid back than me. Thought I'd finally found "the one", then he let me down. He gave me some good advice though, to walk away from the bad relationship with my mother, as he did with his.

I've stuck at it, goodness knows why! List of disagreements and conflict goes back years. Of course, it's got worse as she's got older. Getting involved with her neighbour is latest problem. She dedicated herself to him too. She thought they were an "item", he didn't share that feeling, as he was already looking to move on after a few months. He also had a drink problem which contributed to his dementia. When I expressed my opinion, about letting go, I've been insulted. This has also happened randomly in public. I recently lost my job, so have been taking her to medical appointments and shopping. Okay, she's said thank you and paid for petrol, but the emotional blackmail continues. I only have to breathe heavier than usual and I'm disinterested in what she's saying. We have to go over a topic many times; when I give a solution, I'm being difficult. The list goes on.......

If I talk to my brother, he will just tell her what I've said. My aunt wanted her to maintain contact with the neighbour. My mother is now claiming she doesn't remember saying all these bad things to me, attributing it to old age. Just wanted to get this off my chest!