I can definitely appreciate this. I'm sorry you are struggling unseen.
I was recently at a family event where a great deal of concern was expressed for a relative due to her weight loss. (caused by medical conditions, not eating disorder) They repeated her weight numerous times, and how shocking it was. I struggled to express appropriate sympathy (even though I did feel care and concern) because my own weight is quite a bit lower. No one is concerned for me. Not that i want anyone to be. So it's a confusing feeling for me.
I hope you can be successful in communicating your feelings to your loved ones, and that they will hear and see you.