Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - What to do when things get good?
View Single Post
Old 09-17-2018, 08:19 PM
TML8277 TML8277 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: west
Posts: 36
TML8277 TML8277 is offline
Member
TML8277 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: west
Posts: 36

6 hugs
given
Default What to do when things get good?

I've posted about my husband. I've recently come across someone else's post to find that their situation is so similar to mine. She puts things in words in a way that I can't even think to describe. It's been going on in my head piece by piece for years, but to really just lay it all out. It's so raw. So real. It hurts my heart to see someone else go through the struggle, but to know that I really am not alone. That's amazing... My situation seems so surreal. It seems impossible. To be so incredibly disconnected from my husband. To maintain fighting for him when all I want to do is run... People really do that. Real people do that. Not everyone is superficial and "perfect." So, just a huge thank you to her for sharing something so raw and so personal and for making an impact on me.

But to get to the point... What on earth do I do when he says "I'm sorry." "Thank you for taking care of us." "I'm ready to get back to us." What do I do when he actually comes to bed at night rather than passing out where ever he happens to be? How do I not be angry during the only moments that that anger even matters? How do I let go of him turning away as I begged him for help? How can I let him through my barrier of pain and hurt? How can I ever be close to him? I know the instant we get anywhere close to "us" that he'll be back out that door and back where he was. I know I'm not meant to give up hope. I know that Jesus loves us unconditionally and asks the same of us. I know that I made a promise not just to my husband, but to myself, my children and Jesus. All I want 90% of the time is to crawl into a dark hole and cry myself to sleep. That place is so dark, so scary, and unfortunately, so real.
TML8277 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from: