Hi all. Well, I have been post menopause for 10 years in February,2019. I have been on HRT since Sept.2009, Antidepressants (Lexapro first and now Effexor ER) and antianxiety meds (Lorazepam 1mg twice a day) since April 2010. Not nearly as bad as I was, not by a long shot. I think if there is such a thing as psychotic menopause, I experienced it 2008-2010. Terrible thing.

I have also a dx. of Major Depression, Panic d/o and PTSD(not military related).

Anyway, I don't know where to start, but I still am anxious and depressed. Usually both. I don't know what to do. I've tried therapy and I can't afford it. My Employee's assistance allows 5 visits. I've done that 3 times in the last 8 years.

I live in a rural area and psychiatrists or psych NPs are few and far between. I would like to have a p.doc/NP to just evaluate me and evaluate my medicine. I'm not sure some sort of mood stabilizer isn't called for. I take Neurontin/gabapentin for neuropathy and I've heard it has mood stabilizing effects. Sometimes on a rare day, I can tell it does. I'm not worried or anxious for about 3 hours and those hours are precious. I take it twice a day, about 8am and 4pm.

Any comments are so welcome. Please communicate with me about your experiences. Or just say Hi if you've had any problem with menopause, you don't have to tell me or offer advice. I'd like to know I'm not crazy or alone because my problems began with a panic attack at 3AM on 2/26/09. I went from an assertive professional to a slobbering, crying mess in a matter of weeks. A therapist in Sept.2009 suggested it could be a "bad" menopause. A week later after a visit to my gyn establishing Yes, menopause on HRT. But, they didn't want to want to hear the other. Suggested therapy. I said "A therapist sent me TO you."
My GP is the only one who has listened. Hence, ADs and AAs.
I have no real social support system other than my husband and my sisters. My sisters have their own problems.
Thanks for listening. Hope to hear from some of you. Please.