Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
But see, you were reacting to OTHER THINGS, not just the trash in the driveway. Your reaction carried the weight of everything bad that had ever happened.
Trying to fix it in ONE conversation is like - a fat man trying to get thin by eating one piece of fruit one day, and expecting to be thin the next day. No - he would have to eat properly for a year in order to become thin.
So - in order for you and your mother to have a kind relationship between the two of you, every interaction would have to be kind.
I do not say she did right in throwing the trash. But she was quiet when you came in. Perhaps - probably she knew she did wrong and it would upset you.
But i would say - do not try to protect her from the neighbors. It is their affair with her. You cannot hide how she is from them. But you CAN be kind, regardless of how she is. They may be more inclined to help you if they see that you are ONLY kind to her, and never yell at her. Let HER be cruel, if she must. You do not have to be. It teaches her nothing. I wish i could explain it better.
I lived in relative harmony with my mother for three years when i was 50 years old and got fired from a good job. She laughed at me, mocked me, and treated me like a child. She even passed gas in my face. I dont get that your mother is cruel like this to you, but both our mothers believe(d) in evil eye which is hard to argue with, i know! And in modern america, it is even worse. I just held on until i could escape, but i admit i was a mess then. Hardly human.
|
You're so right. I will have to be patient enough. I think I mess things up myself, sometimes.
As to the neighbours, yes they do help me. They are good and understanding. They know the time I'm going through. I had made good friendships here in the neighbourhood, but my mother had started shouting curse words to my friend's mother and sister, so bad things she said to them that it become unbearable for me and them. Finally her sister's boyfriend confronted me one day and said bad words to me. He threatened me to close all the doors and windows of my house so my mother can't have to go anywhere. After that day, I never talked to my friend. Because I knew they had also gone out of their limits. I mean, they don't have the right to tell me what to do in my house. I told him this to his face. These people regularly make fun of my mother. They try to appear understanding to me but I can see through them now: They enjoy seeing my mother like she is. They are not good people.
But at least they stop when I intervene. Once these people were shouting about water usage and whatnot and my mother was just cleaning the house. I went downstairs and told them off for making a scene out of no reason. They stopped abruptly at least then.
There is one person who seems very understanding. But after seeing the reality of these people, I am unable to have faith in any people or friend.
Your mother made fun of you in your face when you left a good job. My mother does this kind of behaviour almost daily. She has no appreciation of the hard work I put in to my work, and that's nothing, compared to what she says sometimes. She calls me a ***** so loudly that the whole colony listens. She shouts at me to desert the house because its not my house, etc. She aggravates me a lot sometimes. But recently I've got a better hold on myself.
Although I'm starting to feel just like you said, less human. I don't feel good or bad much. I don't have a good day anymore. I don't like eating food, only eat it when I'm hungry enough. I don't even like anything. I'm slowly becoming senseless.
I'm very sorry to hear that this has happened with you as well, I can just offer you my hugs
https://pcforums-liviant.netdna-ssl....milies/hug.gif and the only thought that keeps me going: I haven't done anything wrong, either morally or any other way. On the other hand, I'm strong on the inside just because I know that I have done the right thing every second of my life, or at least tried my best to. It's just the love of my own work that keeps me going.