I suspect sometimes that she doesn't want me to ever get married because that would make her feel all the more lonely.

I have just one question with myself. And that is, has my mother been like this from her childhood? At least her parents (my grandparents) tell me so. But, from my childhood, I've been seeing for real that how unhumanely her parents behaved with her. I think that's the reason why she is like that.

And that's why I would feel bad to leave her. She worked tirelessly, when I was a small child, to provide for my education because no other would help. She put me in one of the best and costliest schools in my city so that I get a good education, just so that I don't get a childhood that she got. I can't leave her like that. I want her to get better. Sometimes my efforts seem to work. But mostly I myself become confused, distracted and depressed to do anything.

Once we talked about her going and living to a place like a nursing home. But we weren't clear about where she would go. That was the problem then, and that's the problem now. It is very difficult, at least in India, for a woman to survive alone.

Currently she is getting VERY angry and frustrated with her life. I am scared at what will happen. She just sits there and does nothing all day. It's been like that from years. She only gets up to make food grudgingly. She does not involve herself in any hobby or work. She can't concentrate on any good thing for more than 2 minutes. Just sits there and curses all people we've met till now.

I have become hopeless. I can't concentrate on my work. I can't get myself to work. I just want to escape.