I am new here and I came because I'm searching for a opinion about things could be my "pink flags" from a long, long time and I have no one to talk to about it. I really hope You could read my message and tell me what are You thinking about my therapy's situation, is it normal for You and I am exaggerating or is there something wrong going on... I'm already going crazy (as if I wasn't crazy enough ) from thinking about it in the last months.

So.. I am in CBT/EMDR/humanistic (easier to say, mix of different schools) therapy, my therapist is a professional with different years of experience, certificates, and so on and so on...

Three years ago I found myself in a difficult situation - lots of health problems, my marriage isn't working well, moving to a new city that I don't really like, etc. After a year and a half my friend told me about this therapist. I was trying before with other types of therapy, but couldn't really accept the kind of approach they were offering and also my previous therapist was sleeping during our sessions (!), so I was discouraged. And I made 6 months of Gestalt 7 years ago, that really helped me.

So I decided to try with this (mostly CBT) therapist and it quickly "clicked" between us. I found him really very professional, first of all really listening and committed, enthusiastic about our future work. I was very happy, even if from the beginning I was a little worried about him because I felt he's a natural flirt and quite good-looking, but at first I thought he wasn't really my type. We understood each other very well from the beginning, has a way of thinking and educational background very similar to mine, so I was very happy to find him.

Months were passing and I started to feel better - I found well-paid job, lost some pounds and started to dress better and take care of myself, feeling more like myself from before the depression. It was then that he started to be always more and more kind, smiling and flirtatious. I found him complementing my hair or asking if I was thinking about him when traveling with airplane, it was quite rare so I thought it was only casual. But it was flattering, especially for me being so depressed and low in last years (after infinite arguments with my husband telling me I am nothing, **** and stuff like that). I told my husband about this, because I was always very transparent to him, especially about other guys that were flirtatious with me and stuff so I didn't want to hide anything from him.

The situation really changed after one session. I remember this time my husband went to his parents that live in another country, so I was alone, and my therapist also told me something about going from the other place than usually, like he's family (oh, didn't mention he is married with kids...) went to live in some other place at this time. So it was winter evening (I have my sessions in the evening, I am a last client since I finish my work late), we were talking a lot and we couldn't finish our session, laughing and talking about different staff (we laugh and joke a lot, as we have very similar sense of humor, it's such a relief having someone you can laugh with, even sometimes), he was asking what music I will listen to now, what drink I will made myself when I come home, and then when I was about to go home he told me "You have such a beautiful sent... You bring such a beautiful sent to my empty and grey office..." He told it in a way that was really flirtatious, looking at my very intensively. Than he made a long pause and added "What kind of perfume are You wearing?..." like he was trying to make me believe he was only talking about it because he wanted to know the name. I told him something in response, feeling at the same time flattered and paralyzed, and I added I am happy to bring it to him and went away.

From this time nothing was the same for me, because the situation between me and therapist became really full of tension and I couldn't forget his words. I couldn't help but buying better perfume also (knowing now that he is noticing it) and wearing better dresses, while he was always looking at me with amusement from head to toes, event if not saying anything more. We were often talking about how I am unhappy in my marriage, and my therapist started also to criticize my husband. Here I have to add, that my husband can be really very passive-aggressive, we are fighting A LOT, and probably my health issues are related to it, so honestly I think my therapist can be right about it. Only that him being at the same time very flirtatious, often joking and offering me some extra-time after session (even if it's only 10, 15 minutes more), looking at me in THIS way with this comments make me feel like there is something going on.

He started to disclose a lot about himself, telling me for example that "he feels there is something in his character that could made him cheat on his wife", that he feels frustrated as a therapist, telling me he is going to visit my home town and asking where to go to eat pizza and then we were texting about how he liked it, what placed he was visiting, and stuff like this. He didn't stop to tell some flirtatious comments, like on the last session he concentrated at the end of the session on the "elements": he was talking about element of earth and told me do I feel earth under my feet, than do I feel water - saliva in my mouth, and then he said smiling at me in a suggestive way "And as for the fire... let's better leave the fire's topic alone...".

I could give more and more examples, but I think I made my point.
Now the question is, am I projecting something to myself? Am I exaggerating? Is he only helping me in this way? Or is he crossing some boundaries?

I have to tell that I really, really, like him, he helped me a lot, I gained a lot of self-confidence that was really missing, I found a job, I am becoming more and more aware of who I am and what I really want to do in my life and it feels great. And I like it VERY MUCH when he is giving me this looks and this comments. But... there is a big BUT, but in my thought he is always present, and even when I am trying to forget about him and making effort to see him as at the beginning, before all of this happened - I can't, because we connect to well, we simply finish sentences one to another, and it feels so good that I don't know how could I ever tell him that I feel something is wrong.

I'm really interested about what do You think about it (and I’m afraid about it at the same time). Are these "pink flags"?

I am sorry if my English isn't perfect, for it isn't my mother tongue.

Thanks a lot for every comment once again.