Last post on this thread . Pretty much has come to a natural end and hopefully a happy ending . Funny , because out of desperation I found this place , not realising that a year after I wrote that first post I would have found a way out of the cave . 2018 , whilst not yet done has been the recovery year .
So far this year I've given up smoking and effectively drinking . Lost 5 lbs ( ok I was 23 bmi anyway , but was worried I'd put weight on when giving up smoking ) . Sustained a savings rate of 55% . Increased my fitness and strength . Sleeping has improved . Don't feel angry all the time . Have regained some of my former confidence in myself . Because of all that , my work is not as destructive on my mind as it had become . Found peace . Feel at peace .
My original plans remain the same , but maybe not out of desperation anymore . But out of optimism for the future .
Possibly just writing stuff on this forum , often deranged stuff , but stuff all the same has played its part in the recovery .
So what are the goals for 2019 ? Well , continue on towards the goal , also give up the internet . I would like to go back to as much of a pre internet life as possible . We'll see , I don't see that as easy as it might sound . I have always craved knowledge . It used to be books , but the net allowed me to supercharge that knowledge gathering . There comes a time of too much mindless information though ..and as crazy as it sounds I think it contributed to my mental illness .
Over and out .