I think it speaks to a great strength of character in you that you're still worried about being kind and supportive to your wife after she cheated on you, pressured you, and insulted you. I would be furious in your shoes. You two must have a very strong relationship and you must be a very kind and loyal person.
I think it's massively unfair of her to expect you to listen sympathetically to the problems she's having with the woman she cheated on you with. I just... cannot fathom. You seem like you're handling things very well, but I hope you are taking care of yourself and allowing yourself space for your own feelings. Maybe your wife could stand to listen to you talk about how you felt about this whole thing.