May I join in?

I actually am typically pretty good about healthy eating, until I get into an episode, and then my MI and ED take over. Which has made it difficult to take all this weight off that I gained in a short period of time because of meds and hospitalizations a couple of years ago.

I have been really good about cooking at home and making whatever I want at home, using herbs and spices, managing portions. I started actually counting the calories again today because I feel like I just need to be intense about this for the next 6-8 weeks and then can be less strict. Sort of like a cleanse but not a cleanse.

Today I had yogurt mixed with applesauce and fresh strawberries for breakfast. I had a granola bar for a mid-morning snack. Then I had a turkey sandwich for lunch, on wheat bread, and I did add bacon but I budgeted the calories. For dinner I'm having brown rice with corn and black beans and carefully measured out shredded cheese. I have some yummy fruit - black seedless grapes for dessert later.

I have also started trying to make my food just a tiny bit spicier, because I've read (don't know if it's really true) that spicier foods make you feel fuller faster. And I have found that I feel fuller if my food is a little spicy. Plus it tastes better, lol.

I have to be careful because when I get triggered, flashback-style, I tend to disregard portion sizing. I'm always afraid someone will steal my food and I will go hungry, so even though I know this won't happen, it causes me to food hoard but not like in a savings kind of way but in a "I have to eat everything" kind of way or I won't ever get anything. One of my Ts said this behavior was similar to kids who grew up in foster homes or bad circumstances where there was never enough food, which, yes, is similar to my circumstances of abuse and neglect.

On the note of veggie pizza, I love making homemade veggie pizza. I tend to overload it with veggies though and the dough just falls apart, lol. I like homemade pizza a million times better than from a pizza place.